Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hey everyone! Watch this out!

"If there is such a thing as beauty, we need to be able to recognize it."
--Paul Graham

Monday, March 06, 2006

Wow. Have I gone a full week without posting or is this blog just wearing an anatomically correct bra? And why did SARS ever allow itself to be cured? Not only was it WAY easier to spell than "rubella," but it had the all caps thing going for it proving that it was one disease to be bronxed with. Hey! What's the difference between a ninja and a pork barrell? A trenchcoat! A bit tawdry, sure, but nothing NEAR the vomit in your mother-in-law's purse. Jaleel White should be shorn down to his skeleton and he should be pitted against Dolph Lundgren in the ultimate battle for Greyskull (aka front spot in the unemployment line--zing!). And is there really anything really more filthy than an Italian? Okay, fine--an Italian-American. Come. On. This concludes my version of Def Free Verse Jam.

On the world domination front, gang, in honor of Women's History Month (aka now), I traded my wealth of Susan B. Anthony pogs with the nation of Djibouti in exchange for the country's 49 tractors. Since this deal makes me the largest shareholder of the Djiboutian economy, I thought I'd try me hand as Crazy Uncle Dictator in yet another impoverished nation--therefore, I decreed that all diapers must be filled with fruit and lamb tacos must be eaten every Tuesday. Sure, the country's "plumbing" will have to wait for its much-needed 3 quarter inch galvanized phalanges with additional polychromatic stranifiers (stupid Appalachian warlords!) but as long as I provide the citizens with spackle for their stigmata and Nyquil for their report cards, I think the candle will burn nicely. I have also introduced Djibouti to the word "piratesmoker" and the invention of the guillotine while Djibouti has introduced me to the pastime of "drive-by milking." So the trade has been a rich, meaningful experience all around. But now, by using my patented powers of lettuce, I'll progress this post along into what's interesting me out there at the current:

WALLACE & GROMIT earn another Golden Dude! Way to be British, guys, and kick ass while doing it.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED is back! Sure, I love this show even when it's lame (season premiere, anyone?) but my biggest joygasm thus far this season is Nathan Fillion (NATHAN FILLION!!!!!!) as the voice of Vigilante. For a show that casts so many vanilla voice talents, Nathan is a triple riple chunky monkey vocal blast of charm, humor, class, and adventurous showmanship. The only departure from Mal Reynolds here is that this cowboy doesn't have himself a Firefly. And what's up with the redesigned Supergirl? I like it, but does this mean my action figure is going the way of Atari?

LADY & THE TRAMP--This is a good friggin movie! Growing up an army BRAT, my childhood was denied the privilege of a household dog. But now that I live under a pup-friendly roof (whot-whot Koppi!) I can now fully understand how astonishing the acting is in this movie--the characters strike a profound yet delicate blend of human pathos yet are still rooted in their canine tendencies. In short, a perfect marriage of personified psyche and dog behavior. My only pork with the film is that Tramp's "arc" is cheated--we see so much of him corrupting Lady on the bohemian side of life, but we never see her champion the merits of a domestic lifestyle back at him to convince him to settle down with her at the end--he just kinda does in what feels like a last minute "oh what the hell okay" decision. And altho the DVD extras claim that the small-town dynamic to the movie is Walt's depiction of the real America, I picked up a far different American thesis from this film: Real America isn't about your childhood town, it's about immigration. I swear, just about EVERY character in this film is a racial stereotype of some, well, type, so much so that if Jesse Jackson is ever in need of some quick bling, he only needs to sic his legal coalition on this film full 'stache! And to untomb an even specificer theme--Orientals are evil. I'm sorry, but those Siamese cats scared the tinkle out of me as a kid, and they frighten the prostate out of me now, altho that could just be a pelvic ulcer (note to self: see doctor once you get a real job with medical benefits). And being a story boy myself, I appreciate the salute to the art of the storyboard extra, but did we really need the highly superfluous appearances by Andrew Adamson, Kevin Costner, and Bill Paxton? The Christmas babies tell me "no."

NEWSRADIO SEASON 3--For over a decade, I have been under the unconquerable opinion that Newsradio is the greatest sitcom (and ensemble!) ever made by humans and this season sexifies my opinion all the more factier. Just the fact that this DVD set is available means that Season 1 & 2 sold more than Evan Gabor so PLEASE buy this set so they'll at least release Season 4 which I GUARANTEE will be the most hilarious DVD you'll ever own! Returning to the topic of Season 3, tho, I love thems commentaries--they are as disorganized as they are adorable! No wonder this show was so lowly rated--not even the staff watched it! None of the actors or writers remember what's going on in each episode and in fact Andy Dick, who is literally watching these episodes for the first time, often breaks out in hilarity and tries to shush those giving commentary so that he can follow the episodes. Throw in the fact that Maura Tierney's call time for ER was pushed up so she has to contribute via phone and you got commentary as every bit hilarious and offbeat as Newsradio itself!

And finally, I want to give a shout-out to the most entertaining blogs out there (all to be found in my links column):

PUBLICK NUISANCE--the blog of Venture Brothers creator Jackson Publick. Granted, it's not updated all too frequently due to the grueling Venture production schedule, but when it is updated, sweet cats it's a thing of beauty and enjoyment!

TOONING-IN--no art, granted, but you don't need it when you're getting served such succulent platters of satire. Probably the funniest site on the web.

STORYBOREDOM--I have strived for eight months now to turn World Domination Weekly into the funnest, most offbeat blog around and these vondrooks come and make me look boring! Thanks a lot fellas, not just for making my blog seem like a used tampon, but for being my regular source of inspiration these days! Solid!

And finally--

The TAG Blog--granted, Cartoon Brew recently gave it a hoorah, but in all informative fairness, WDW reader Wayne Unten found it two weeks ago first! Regardless, this place is every bit as industry informative as the Brew plus they've given me the suicide deadening uplift that King of the Hill has been renewed.


"You have to know about life, and you create out of what you know." --Marc Davis